Better

Its been 2 months since I wrote the blog “Not ok”

I realise I should’ve filled everyone in sooner than this. Soz.

Right after I posted it things changed course.  Almost instanstly.

I got an incredible opportunity.

I notice that often happens to me. Once I acknowledge the dark place I’m in a blessing soon shows up.

I’m better than I was when I wrote that last post. Much. So thank you for your love and concern.

The family thing I was dealing with has had massive closure.

I made the decision to move to Brisbane and have been here a week.

At the time I wrote that last post I was sad and exhausted. When you carry a burden for so long it etches a mark into you. When you let it go you feel the pain again as well as the relief. But my adrenals were shot. I’d been living in a constant state of fight or flight -for months. I needed a break.

I needed to heal.

I couldn’t wait to get out of Sydney.

The challenge and growth is appreciative but I need a minute of peace.

Brisbane is the perfect place for me right now. I’d thought of staying in Sydney and commuting but after 6 weeks of Benj and I commuting. I knew I needed to go.

2016 saw my business partner and I create “Cause I’m curious” something we are so proud of but created a constant state of stress.

 I knew my family needed more of me.

Obviously I will continue my work, the new series, radio and all my other loves but I also need to nurture my home and myself.

I used to think of prioritising my home life as weak, lame and boring.

Career success has been the primary driving force is my life.

I’ve never even acknowledged this to myself until writing it down here and now.

I was petrified of becoming a wife and mother. I didn’t want to become a shadow of my former self. 

I realise now I can be whatever kind of mother, wife and woman I want to be. I can carve out the way we want to be as a family. This has finally clicked.

So I have taken drastic measures to make sure my body is in optimum shape to conceive.

I’m working with Dr Liu from TCM. This will be the hardest physical and mental challenge I undertake.

2 weeks only water, black tea and foul chinese herbs.

The following 2 weeks is a slow integration into eating. The first day of food is half a cucumber. THIS IS HARD CORE.

Its time to restore and regenerate my organs- from prior damage, disease, poor food choices and constant over eating.

Wish me luck