When my management called and told me that I have just landed a well paid job, you would think I would be jumping for joy! But what if the Job isn't something I love? If it's something that denies all my talents and is a "side step not a backwards step"- My manager said.. What do I do? What would you do?
We can't deny, money is money and it pays the bills and Mila's on going medical needs. On top of that I am an independent woman and one day I want to own a house etc. Money makes the world go round and in this profession sometimes the work dries up for a while and you are sitting around wondering if you will ever work again. THANK GOD FOR ECLIPSE MUSIC TV! Over the years I have denied so many sleazy/undignified/partially nude/dumb characters/weird product endorsements and tell all articles about my relationship, what would make me change and want to do this now? I guess it's the fact that this job doesn't include any of those ugly points above, it's still a wholesome role but it's based all on looks and not on talent. The lure of it opening doors and more contacts was the other lucrative thing. But they wern't going to know the real Zoe just her shell. I have so much to say as you all know that I didn't want to take the job and not be grateful even more so feel resentful doing the role. So today after playing with the idea and already spending the money on imaginary things in my mind. I sucked it up and said "thank you, but no thank you." In life even when your family claps and get excited by an idea, doesnt necesseraly mean its right for you. This goes for all things not just jobs. Relationships, events, converstations, sex... The list goes on. My mum left me with so many wonderful lessons, one being "If it doesn't feel good and true to you, don't do it." This isn't the same as being uncomfortable when challenged, challenges make you grow. It's a different type of feeling. Like your selling out or cheapening yourself. If you don't set the bar, who will?
And how the bloody hell do I go on with a blog about "knowing your worth" when I'm coping out. I guess I am getting more out of this blog than I thought. I am accountable to so many more people than just myself about staying true. So there you go I said No! Bye bye nice fat pay check, hello integrity.
