Birthday shmirthday

I turn 33 soon. I know. 33. Like a real adult.

I feel a lot of anxiety when I write that number. I think I planned for things to be different at 33.

Its all objective right? I might say I wanted to be more successful and have a family and you reading this might think I have both. 

My mum had me at 32 so I feel like I'm running behind. I need to get this baby thing going but as we all know I have no control over that at all. LET IT GO.. I keep reminding myself.

So for this years birthday I want to let it all go. All the expectation and fun that we are supposed to have. I want low key with some mates hanging out like its any other day - except we will definitely eat cake. 

No presents, no big deal. 

I can't believe I am saying this. I'm usually the girl that wants the whole month of June to celebrate.

Maybe its just today. Maybe it will change in the next two weeks..

Ahhh who knows.. I just feel like I am getting too old to care..

Does anyone else feel like this?